Posted by Whitney on December 03, 1999 at 09:57:54:
Folks: I don't remember when most of these are from, what contexts they
were said in, or anything like that. And I know there were _so_ many more
amusing, bizarre, and clever things said over this semester. BUT...here
are a few things I heard and happened to record. Do watch MTV Saturday
@ 4 as well, k? :) -- Whitney
USEM 26a QUOTES
"They give these away on Christmas all year long." -Jordan
"You have a steering wheel instead of a steering square or a steering triangle." -Jordan
"If I'm reading the law correctly --- which I don't guarantee." -Paul
"What is progress?!" -Jassa
"I have a song hidden in a link on my home page." -Jordan
"I think I should let Russ say something so he doesn't fail." -Jordan
"I sometimes thought I discovered the secret to the universe but I was always wrong." -Jordan
"The Mr. Rogers of software development." -Brian
"Citizens of Earth! This is a class!" -Jordan
"I'm getting chain mail index cards!" -Jordan
"Every single person in this country would be a lawyer, a doctor, or a frickin farmer." -Brian
"I'm neurotic." -Jassa
"I wrote them a check and it bounced. That's impossible! It was my dad's check." -Brian
"I like porn." -David Friedman
"Well, the fact that [Shakespeare] has been dead for a couple thousand years..." -David Friedman
"You can call me Baraky if you want." -Barak
"Drugs and clothes, the twin evils of society." -Barak
"We have this guy who has nothing but his own blood and a paintbrush." -Jordan
"You wouldn't know that if you were in a regular USEM." -Jordan
"I don't know why there'd be a lawsuit if there wasn't money at stake." -Jordan
"David, I think you went sideways again." -Jordan
"If Jimmy Durante's nose is news, it's because he's spent a long time building that nose." -Jordan
"The Last Supper. Sponsored by McDonald's." -Barak
"You could do it in a paragraph. But then it wouldn't be three to four pages." -Jordan
"What could the porn industry do with it?" -Jordan / "One-handed typing!" -Barak
"Jordan, that's enough out of you." -Ari
"It's not just enough to break the law; everybody breaks the law. You have to be opposing the government in some way." -Jordan
"So it's a digital Etch-A-Sketch?" -Barak
"I, Jordan Pollack, famous pundit." -Jordan
"They have no respect for our hard disks." -Jordan
"Want to find other terrorists on the web?" -Paul
"He really is like an old testament prophet. He might as well be Ezekiel." -Jordan
"Not until there are digital superheroes." -Ari
"I think we're going to mature eventually and become capitalistic whores." -Barak
"I don't like CDs because they're too hard to take care of." -Bill / "Don't have children!" -Paul
"Daddy, what's a record?" -Barak
"God damn college kids." -Barak
"I'm actually related to Gandhi." -Cecil
"I don't know. It's wacky; the guy is nuts." -Jordan, referring to himself
"This is the greatest thing I ever invented." -Jordan
"PROPERTY IS AN ESSENTIAL FUNCTION OF HUMANITY!" -Jordan
"liquid cash" -Jassa
"You sold 6 billion copies of your book 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'." -Jordan
"If you were really my friend, you'd offer me your flesh." -Barak, of course.